


Loving Him

by The_Golden_Dice



Series: Simon in Love [3]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:43:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Golden_Dice/pseuds/The_Golden_Dice
Summary: Simon briefly meets Bram’s parents. Abby and Nick are lovable dorks who want their friends to be happy. Bram and Simon have a misunderstanding and Simon is characteristically overdramatic, leading to declarations of love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had been Bram’s boyfriend for exactly two months and three days. It felt a little strange to him that Bram had met his parents almost immediately and he was only meeting Bram’s mom and dad now.

Simon didn’t get as easily flustered as Bram. That’s not to say that it didn’t happen, but after everything he went through with Martin, his skin had grown a little thicker and things didn’t bother him as much. Sadly, however, his new thick skin was on the outside, and didn’t protect him from the onslaught of emotions he felt walking up to Bram’s front door. Inside the house, Bram’s mom and dad were waiting.

He had been Bram’s boyfriend for exactly two months and three days. It felt a little strange to him that Bram had met his parents almost immediately and he was only meeting Bram’s mom and dad now. Bram assured him it was purely down to the logistics of having divorced parents. Bram’s dad had requested he be present to meet Bram’s first boyfriend at the same time as Simon met Bram’s mom, and they had all respected his wishes. Unfortunately it had been difficult for Mr. Greenfeld to find time for a visit. Simon kept reminding himself that this was the reason it had taken so long. It wasn’t anything to do with Simon as a person, or the fact that he wasn’t a girl.

He ran his hands up over his face and through his hair quickly before pressing the doorbell, puffing out a quiet sigh at the same time. He’d tried to dress a little smarter than normal, replacing his customary hoodie with a button-down shirt and jacket. His hair was hopeless, whether he kept running his hands through it or not. It just sat the way it wanted to and that was that. Bram said he liked it that way though.

Bram opened the front door with an eager smile and placed a quick kiss on Simon’s cheek. Simon followed Bram down the hallway, all the while mentally scolding his stomach for doing somersaults. Bram made the introductions once they’d reached the kitchen, and Simon tried to remember to smile. The house looked so different with only four people in it as opposed to a mass of drunken teenagers. Eventually, after what Simon thought was probably a universally accepted “meet the parents” chat, Bram told his mom and dad he and Simon were heading to Waffle House to meet the rest of the gang.

As soon as they were in the car and Simon had backed out of Bram’s driveway, Bram turned to Simon with a huge smile on his face.

“I thought that went so well! Was it okay for you?” He looked at Simon expectantly, his brow ever so slightly creased with concern.

“Yes! Don’t get me wrong, I was super nervous, but they seem great.” Simon grinned at Bram and they laughed happily together.

This felt right, and good, and Simon knew he wanted to tell Bram he was in love with him. In a way, he thought Bram knew. Simon had referred to loving Blue before, but he’d never come out with an actual “I love you” to Bram’s face. They didn’t email at all these days. Simon felt like Blue and Jacques were the old versions of them. Despite that, Simon almost wished he could return to the emails one last time, just so that he could make his declaration in a totally safe space. It was a big deal after all. He was still thinking about it when Bram started talking.

“That picture last night by the way...” Bram’s smile was mischievous but his eyes were full of admiration.

“You liked it then?” Simon glanced away from the road and looked at Bram. He felt a twinge below his stomach at the expression on Bram’s face. There was something about the way Bram looked when he was turned on that made Simon feel wobbly inside. It was almost like Bram was in awe of Simon.

“Yes, I liked it. I know I told you in my reply but it bears repeating. You don’t realise how hot you are Simon. I’m glad you waited until you were comfortable to send me something. It was totally worth the wait.”

Simon blushed furiously and concentrated on the road. He’d felt like such a hypocrite all those weeks ago when he realised that he wasn’t totally comfortable sending Bram a picture in return for the one he’d requested. Bram had been so good about it, but it had made Simon feel like a bad person. He’d chatted to Leah and Abby, who had both reassured him that Bram was not the kind of guy to pressure him or have expectations. He’d already known that, but it felt good to share his concerns all the same. Abby had told him that when it was the right time, she could give him a few tips on how to take a good picture.

It had been exciting and terrifying at the same time, but he had been pretty happy with the picture he’d eventually chosen to send. He felt a little flutter in his stomach knowing that Bram liked it too. He’d kept his modesty covered, just as Bram had. He felt like when they saw each other fully naked for the first time, it should be for real. Still, nobody outside his immediate family had ever seen so much of him before.

“I’m glad. I won’t apologise again for asking you to wait. I know you’ll get cross if I do.” Simon laughed lightheartedly. “I’m just so lucky to have you.”

Bram smiled and grasped the fingers of Simon’s free hand.

“I feel the same.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, does this mean what I think it means?” Garrett, who had been following the conversation, piped up. 
> 
> “What exactly do you think it means?” Leah asked, wearing her signature smirk. 
> 
> “Well, Burke, I think it means we party.” Garrett winked at Leah and she laughed, covering her eyes with one hand in a gesture that Simon could tell meant she felt slightly awkward.

Simon approached his friends, making initial eye contact with Nick, who let out a low whistle. 

“Simon, my man! Looking suave!” Nick exploded into goodnatured laughter. Simon rolled his eyes and leaned in to lightly punch Nick’s shoulder. This whole “thing” about him only ever wearing hoodies was much less entertaining than it should have been. 

“You look amazing” Abby said, beaming at him. “How did it go?” 

She directed her question towards both him and Bram, who had taken the last seat next to Simon. Bram quickly surveyed Simon’s expression before answering. 

“It was good! Not quite the interrogation I had expected. Simon did great.” Bram smiled and took Simon’s hand. 

“Parents love Simon.” Leah chipped in, looking proudly at her best friend. Simon held her eyes and smiled at her gratefully. Every so often he remembered how hurt she had been at the start of the year, and how she’d had to “kill off” the straight version of him that existed in her head. The one she’d had feelings for. He was glad that she had accepted his relationship with Bram so readily.

When Simon’s food arrived he tucked into it hungrily, letting the chatter of his friends wash over him. He felt light and carefree after his eventful evening. Just as he was finishing up, he heard Bram let out a soft exclamation.

“What’s up?” He glanced over to see Bram scrolling through a long text message. 

“It’s my mom.” Bram replied, somewhat distractedly. “Remember last October my aunt had some issues with that deadbeat guy she was seeing? Well, he’s back on the scene. Seems as though he’s giving her a lot of hassle. My mom is heading through to spend a few days with her in a couple of weeks time.” 

Simon wasn’t sure what to say. In the past, Bram had been fairly lighthearted about his aunt’s romantic troubles. This sounded like it was getting more serious though.

“Is she okay?” Simon looked at Bram with what he hoped was a concerned expression. 

“She will be, my mom will sort her out.” Bram laughed and his frown cleared. He reached for Simon’s hand and Simon took it, glad to be able to give Bram some kind of comfort.

“So, does this mean what I think it means?” Garrett, who had been following the conversation, piped up. 

“What exactly do you think it means?” Leah asked, wearing her signature smirk. 

“Well, Burke, I think it means we party.” Garrett winked at Leah and she laughed, covering her eyes with one hand in a gesture that Simon could tell meant she felt slightly awkward. 

Simon looked at Bram, and felt a start when he realised Bram was totally focused on him. Bram looked away after a second and turned towards Garrett’s expectant face. 

“Sure, yeah we can do that.” Bram smiled at Garrett, who promptly let out a loud whoop and began discussing party plans with Abby, Nick, and Leah. 

Simon was still watching his boyfriend. He hadn’t missed the fact that underneath the feigned excitement, Bram looked disappointed. Simon wondered if Bram’s mind had instantly gone to the same place his own had - Bram’s mom away for a few days meant Bram’s house left to just the two of them. He felt nervous excitement course through his veins at the thought of it, but he shut the feeling down. It wasn’t going to happen. 

Later, after everyone had said their goodbyes, Bram got into the passenger seat of Simon’s car and reached for Simon’s hand. Simon pulled out of his parking spot and headed in the direction of Bram’s house. Neither of them seemed to want to be the first to speak, but Simon hated a prolonged silence. 

“So... it’s gonna be a hell of party if it lasts the whole time your mom is away.” He hoped the disappointment wasn’t obvious in his voice. 

“If Garrett has anything to do with it, it might!” Bram laughed, but Simon felt like there was something missing. After a minute, Simon spoke again. 

“When you first mentioned the situation with your aunt, I’d kinda hoped it might mean some alone time for us.” Simon glanced at Bram and saw that he was frowning. Simon squeezed Bram’s fingers slightly before letting them go so that he could shift gears. Bram moved in his seat so that he was turned towards Simon. 

“Say we did have that time ourselves, just the two of us. What do you imagine would happen?” Simon realised that Bram was nervous and swallowed thickly. Was Bram thinking about sex, or was Simon reading this completely wrong? Admittedly their texts had been getting steadily steamier, but nothing had been said outright. Maybe now that Simon had sent his naked picture, Bram was thinking of taking another step forward. 

“I don’t know. We could do anything we want I guess. We could eat junk all day long.” Simon laughed a little, trying to lift the mood. He really wasn’t sure what Bram was expecting him to say. 

“That admittedly does sound awesome.” Bram replied with a smile, facing forward. “I know I’d rather spend the time with you than have a party.” 

Simon waited to see if Bram would say anything else, but he remained quiet. The rest of the drive to Bram’s house passed in silence. When Simon pulled into Bram’s driveway, Bram undid his seatbelt and turned again. 

“Okay, I’ve made a decision.” He looked apprehensive. Simon waited expectantly.

“I think we should cancel the party plans and spend the time together, just us. It doesn’t need to be anything other than what we already do. We can hang out, eat, cuddle, sleep... anything we want. But no pressure. How does that sound?” Bram smiled his cute, eager smile and Simon melted a little inside. Yes, he was nervous, but everything Bram had just said sounded awesome. There was no way he would say no. 

“That sounds amazing. There’s just one thing... how are we gonna break this to Garrett?” Simon burst into a grin and laughed, feeling perfectly light and happy when Bram joined in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon knew his eyes had widened drastically. He never, ever imagined himself having this conversation in the middle of the school library.

Simon reached into his locker and grabbed the last book he’d need that morning, then threw it into his bag. At the locker next to him, Abby was checking her hair for the millionth time in the mirror she kept there for emergencies. 

“It looks great.” Simon resisted the urge to ruffle Abby’s newly streaked curls. She’d gone slightly overboard with the semi-permanent dyes over the weekend, but Simon liked it. It fell just short of too much for school guidelines, with various pinks and purples scattered in amongst her natural dark brown colour. She was concerned that she had pushed the boundaries a little bit too far. 

“Yeah, it definitely looks great. I just don’t want it to get me suspended.” She took one last look in the mirror and shrugged as if to say “what will be - will be”. It was a typical Abby gesture. Yes, she cared, but she also wanted to have fun, and would deal with any necessary consequences. Leah’s initial reaction upon seeing Abby’s new hair was to declare her undying love for any and all future dye experiments. 

As they headed down the hall away from their lockers, Simon could feel Abby’s eyes on him. He looked at her, his eyebrows raised in a silent question. Abby cleared her throat. 

“So, this party at Bram’s...” she paused as if expecting an answer, but Simon stayed silent. “It should be good. Are you looking forward to it?” 

Simon could tell it was a loaded question. 

“Um, yeah. I guess. I mean, to be honest it might have been nice to hang out with Bram, just the two of us but...” Simon tailed off. 

“I knew it.” Abby wore a satisfied smile. “Simon, you’ve been with Bram for what, 2 months now? His mom is going away and leaving him alone. You’d be crazy not to want that time to yourselves!” 

“It’s funny you should say that.” Simon glanced at Abby awkwardly. “Because...” 

“... because you guys have already decided to cancel the party.” Abby interrupted, smiling slightly. 

“How did you know!?” Simon stopped abruptly in his tracks. He realised a second too late that he was probably being a tad dramatic. Abby hadn’t stopped walking, and Simon rushed the few steps between them to catch up with her. He noticed that she was laughing. 

“Simon, I’m very familiar with the honeymoon phase.” She chuckled. “Don’t worry, I totally get it. I’d be the same! How about I explain the situation to Nick? We both know Leah won’t care, and I’d imagine Bram can let Garrett down gently.” She smiled her big, happy smile at Simon and he felt the relief wash over him. 

“That would be amazing. You’re the best.”

“I know. Okay look, I won’t see you again until lunch, but we’re gonna have to think of a way to work this so that your parents don’t know what’s going on.” Abby reached to give Simon a peck on the cheek. “Have a think and I’ll see you later.” With that, she was gone. 

Simon hated to admit it, but he knew that Abby was right. His mom and dad had been great about letting him hang out with Bram when there was someone else in the vicinity, but there was no way they would be okay with the two of them spending so much time completely alone together. As much as Simon respected his parent’s wishes, he sometimes felt like they treated him as if he was still a kid. He was desperate to have this time with Bram, and that meant keeping the truth from his parents. 

~

By the time everyone was seated at the lunch table, it was common knowledge that the epic multi-day party wouldn’t be happening. Garrett took it well, suggesting that he and Leah still hang out with Nick and Abby over the few days, since Simon and Bram would be “busy”. He went slightly red when Nick mentioned hating double dates. Leah laughed it off, and Simon thought he was the only one who’d noticed Garrett blushing.

Abby had decided that Simon should tell his parents he’d be staying with her to get work done on a big project. Conveniently, they did have a joint French assignment due in the next couple of months. There was no way Emily would feel the need to call Abby’s mom to check if the story was valid. Emily and Jack both loved Abby and trusted her implicitly. Simon could tell that Abby felt a little guilty abusing their trust. When he told her how grateful he was, she gave her familiar shrug. She also squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile to show that she knew it meant a lot.

When lunch was finished Bram and Garrett headed to the science department and Leah went reluctantly off to math class. Simon suggested that he, Abby and Nick spend their free period in the library. As he settled himself into a seat and started placing textbooks on the desk in front of him, he noticed Abby and Nick exchange a meaningful look. They seated themselves across the desk and looked at him in unison. He had the sudden feeling he was after the Philosopher’s Stone and had just come up against Fluffy. 

“Guys what’s happening here? I feel like I’m about to face an inquisition.” Simon laughed, feeling slightly nervous. Nick looked at Abby. Clearly he wanted her to do the talking. 

“Okay, here’s the thing. We’re your best friends, right? And even though this is kinda awkward, it needs to be done.” 

“Jesus Abby, what the hell?” Simon had stopped laughing and was looking at his friends expectantly. 

“Hey man, don’t worry okay.” Nick jumped in to rescue his girlfriend. “We’re not trying to put you on the spot. We just want to make sure you’re... ready. For the weekend at Bram’s.” 

Simon looked from Nick’s awkward expression to Abby’s expectant one. 

“Ready... as in?” Simon really couldn’t grasp what they were getting at. Abby leaned across the desk towards him and looked around surreptitiously. 

“As in, do you have protection?” It was almost a whisper when she said it.

Simon knew his eyes had widened drastically. He never, ever imagined himself having this conversation in the middle of the school library. He shook his head slightly and mouthed the word “no” at his friends. Leaning across the table the same way Abby had, Simon felt the need to elaborate. 

“I don’t even know if we’re there yet. Honestly, it feels so weird talking to you guys about this.” 

“I get that Simon. I totally do. Nick and I just wanted to make sure you were sorted out.” Abby smiled at him. Simon suddenly felt a rush of love towards his best friends. 

“Yeah. Like, I have some stuff I could give you. Or I could go with you to get what you need. Whatever you want man.” Nick looked extremely embarrassed, which just made Simon love him more. He suspected that Abby may have railroaded her reluctant boyfriend into this conversation. He smiled to try and lighten the mood. 

“Okay. Thank you guys. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared. Even if nothing happens.” Simon hoped his voice hadn’t shaken as he spoke. Abby looked satisfied and Nick seemed relieved as they began to get their own work ready.

Simon felt strange. On one hand Abby and Nick were right, it certainly never hurt to be sensible and he was so grateful that he had friends who cared that much about him. At the same time, he really didn’t know how he felt about the whole sex thing. It was pretty nerve wracking, but he was going to have to face up to it sooner rather than later. He really needed to speak to Bram.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Simon, you are the most lovable idiot I’ve ever met in my life.”

Rather than have a conversation with Bram about their weekend together, Simon completely avoided the subject for the whole two weeks leading up to said weekend. Every time he thought about bringing up the things he’d discussed with Nick and Abby, he just choked. He knew that Bram could tell there was something wrong and he hated it, but he didn’t know how to fix things. 

They had settled into a comfortable routine of studying at Simon’s house over the previous weeks. While this continued after what Simon was now referring to in his head as “the library chat from hell”, there were definitely fewer clandestine kisses and touches than there had been before.

On the Friday night before Bram’s mom was due to leave, he came round for dinner. It was only Simon and Nora who were home, their parents having decided on a last-minute date night in the city. Jack and Emily would probably have thought it strange at that point if Bram wasn’t hanging out in their house of a evening, so it seemed wise to keep up appearances. Simon felt a twist in his gut at how readily they trusted him and Bram to stick to their requests when he was over. He knew that at least a small part of why he felt strange about the coming weekend was down to the fact that they were all lying to his parents about it. 

As weird as the whole thing felt though, Simon was still desperate to have the weekend alone with Bram. He had woken up from a particularly vivid dream earlier in the week which featured a real-life version of Bram’s naked picture. He’d kept the dream to himself, but it had prompted him to be responsible and finally take up Nick’s offer of going shopping for what he and Bram may need, should things get really heavy. 

When he’d gotten home he’d swiftly ripped the pharmacy bag out of his school backpack and hidden it at the bottom of his laundry basket. His parents had given up trying to do his laundry years ago - there was just no point in trying to persuade a teenage boy not to wear the same pair of jeans every day of the week.

After feasting on the new meatball sub recipe that Nora had been experimenting with, Simon and Bram headed up to Simon’s room. Nora was already preoccupied with what sounded like an incredibly dramatic phone conversation to her best friend about some guy called Luke and his current relationship status. 

Simon closed the door behind him and turned to see Bram perched on the edge of his bed. The realisation that Bram looked uncomfortable hit Simon, and he felt a pain in his chest to see Bram like that. He stood awkwardly for a few minutes, watching Bram look around the room, avoiding his gaze. It felt horrible, and he’d had enough. 

“Bram?” He spoke without making any movements, somehow sensing that it would be better to stay where he was. Bram looked up at him and Simon thought it seemed like he was steeling himself for something. Rather than wonder what that was about, Simon barrelled on. 

“Look, I know I’ve been a bit off the past couple of weeks. I want to explain but I’m pretty sure it’ll sound weird...”

“Simon it’s okay.” Bram cut him off, and his tone was sharper than Simon expected. Simon’s eyes snapped to Bram’s face and the expression he saw there shocked him. Bram’s mouth was set into a straight line and his frown was far deeper than normal. He almost looked angry. 

“You don’t have to explain, Simon. It’s been pretty obvious to me that you don’t want to hang out this weekend. What’s confusing me the most is why you felt like you couldn’t just tell me? I was even thinking you might email at one point but... there’s been nothing.” Brams voice broke on his last word and Simon felt a wave of nausea crash into him at the realisation of what had happened. 

“Oh Bram, no. That’s not it at all!” Simon started to move towards Bram, but stopped himself upon realising that Bram looked wary. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself, then went to sit in his desk chair. He had felt tears threaten to bubble up, but he kept them under control. 

“I’ve been really stupid Bram. I’m so sorry. Okay, I need to get this straight even though it’s awkward for me to talk about. So a couple of weeks ago at school, Abby and Nick basically confronted me and asked me if I’d thought about getting protection for us for this weekend.” Simon couldn’t look at Bram’s face when he was speaking about the subject, so he just stared at the floor and kept going. “I was going to speak to you about it and I just... I couldn’t. It’s not because of you. Every time I tried I just got so fucking nervous. I hate that I’ve made you think I don’t want to be with you because I’m a fucking coward.” 

Simon stopped to take a breath. He was getting worked up and upset. He didn’t want to lose control in front of Bram. He covered his eyes with his hands, but moved them swiftly away when he heard Bram move towards him. Simon opened his eyes to see Bram kneeling at his feet. 

“Simon, you are the most lovable idiot I’ve ever met in my life.” Bram reached up to cup Simon’s cheek and Simon nuzzled into his hand, placing a delicate kiss in the palm. 

“Lovable?” Simon whispered nervously, not quite believing that Bram could forgive his idiocy so quickly.

“Yes, lovable.” Bram smiled. It wasn’t his usual big grin, but a small, soft smile that Simon thought he could look at forever. Bram leaned up to gently kiss Simon’s lips before speaking again. 

“I love you Simon.” 

Simon covered the hand that Bram was holding to his face with one of his own, finally releasing the hold he’d been keeping on his tears.

“I love you too.”


End file.
